SUCK Blu-ray (Universal Pictures)
I have to tell it like it is: I was convinced this was literally going to suck, so what a nice surprise to discover a very funny, very sexy film about a band going nowhere that sell their souls for a taste of success. Full of great lines (“Try some groupie!”) and in-jokes (“What happens on the road stays on the road…”), not to mention some halfway decent production values for a ‘rock ‘n’ roll horror comedy’, ‘Suck’ also features very cool roles for Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop and Henry Rollins, not to mention Moby as Beef Bellows, the lead singer of rival band, the Secretaries of Steak, and Malcolm McDowell hamming it up as vampire hunter Eddie Van Helsing!
In a nutshell, The Winners have been working their asses off in front of unappreciative audiences for ten long years and are on the point of giving up on their teenage dreams of stardom, when bassist Jessica gets bitten by a vampire and transforms over night into the rock chick from hell, all goth chic and contact lenses, draining the life from garage attendants through a straw. But the band’s popularity goes through the roof, and soon they’ve all moved over to the dark side in their bid for fame, fortune and warm blood. I’m sure there’s some potent analogies to be drawn from this – like the parasitic relationship enjoyed by rock star and rock fan, and the addictive nature of success, blahdeblahdeblah – but at the end of the day it’s a fun movie about vampires and rock music – so what’s not to like? And as star/director Rob Stefaniuk so rightly points out, what would have really sucked is if he’d made a movie starring Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper and Henry Rollins that wasn’t supremely cool. Ian Glasper