Dark Knights of the Soul – Jeremy Simpson
Dark Knights of the Soul – Jeremy Simpson (Quartet Books)
Oh. Good. God. No…. I’m tempted to recommend this book simply so I can talk to somebody about it, but I don’t particularly want to give anyone brain damage. If you hated Dan Brown and his success so much, would you let it go? Would you move on? Or would you publish a 260 page novel where you name check AND bash Dan Brown within the first forty pages at least twice? I’d tell you the plot line but that’s explained in one breathless paragraph in the first chapter and if you own this book then there’s nothing I can do to help you now. Still want to hear it? Alright, from the opening page, paragraph two, Charlotte to Nicholas; ‘I just can’t grasp what’s happened – you’re telling me that you and Theo put the Grand Master’s mistress in a coffin, having removed Sergeant Margaret who is now groaning on the back seat, and that this coffin is due to be buried in the Templar courtyard as the sun sets this evening. Nicholas, this is unbelievable! To think that just two hours ago Kirsten and I were packing books in the castle library when you burst in looking like Hamlet’s ghost, telling us to get out as our lives are in danger.’ I nearly fell asleep reading the opening page. To make it a bit easier to understand; the story is about a Templar Neo cult, out to take over the world by claiming their right to control the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, which is why they’ve inexplicably recruited three historians from a university to go to Switzerland for a conference… It takes a brave person to try and cash in on the Knights Templar publishing success and you can feel that Jeremy Simpson has knowledge, hell he may even know more about the Knights Templar and the Holy Grail than his nemesis, but Mr Simpson is crippled by the fact that he simply can’t write a storyline without fucking it up. For instance, introducing a character by announcing that ‘little did he know that Mr Random Character would divulge a great deal of information to him only four hours later,’ may seem like a good way to stoke tension, but no. No, Mr Simpson it doesn’t, not when you try it every other chapter or so. Also I read the phrase ‘Swiss/German border’ about nine times in ten pages, including the writer’s biog, which made me feel like I’d had a lobotomy and needed reminding of where this story was set on every single page. Where are we? The ‘Swiss/German border.’ Where’s so and so? The ‘Swiss/German border.’ Where are we again? The ‘Swiss/German border.’ This book is bad, not because of its content but because of its execution. The author shoots himself in the foot with each page by destroying his supposed suspense and tension, before capping it off by shooting himself in the other foot with atrocious dialogue (see above). I certainly won’t be recommending this book to many people and if anyone needs me I’ll be on the ‘Swiss/German border’. Alex
